once upon a time, you used to be cool

Wednesday 02 July 2008 at 7:55 pm

god: SUP
me: hey, god. how's it going.
god: dude, you are not going to believe the mindfuck i'm about to lay down on the people of the world.
me: it's not going to be tacky, right?
god: tacky? me? no, no no.
me: it's not going to be you appearing through the clouds wearing a gold dress bellowing, "people of the world, bow before your god!"
god: don't be preposterous, i don't own any gold dresses.
me: robe, dress, toga, whatever you freaky people wear.
god: no, nothing like that, and anyway, what is it you're doing these days that's so great? tell me that. more...

this is normal. no, i mean, going crazy is normal.

Wednesday 11 June 2008 at 8:48 pm

our old professor would love our new apartment.

"so much white space!"

omgs, heatwave

Monday 09 June 2008 at 2:25 pm

my boyfriend called all like,
"how hot is it there?"
(he's on vacation this week with his best bud down the shore)
"it's HOT."
"how hot?"
"nineties, hundreds."
"that's pretty hot. don't fuck around, turn on the air conditioner at the apartment."
"i have been."
"damn right."
he's convinced i'm going to die of heat stroke.

doug: OoOoOo... Apple event today- are you pumped?
me: where? aren't you down the shore?
doug: goin down Thursday, I got classes the next few days. Apple's introducing new Hipster Phone stuff today - that's all.
me: cool beans. bummer about classes. wanna go to a movie or something?
doug: cool - i was planning on combatting my loneliness with alcohol, but your idea is much more healthy!

customer service is no longer an oxymoron

Tuesday 03 June 2008 at 10:23 am

first, comcast sucks. i know, if you've heard of comcast, you already know this. here's the breakdown of last year:

1. they kept claiming they could install cable internet in my boyfriend's building. they could not. they charged a lot for not doing what they said they could do, though.
2. every time they successfully hooked someone up, someone else in the building would get disconnected. that person would call them out, and we'd get disconnected. rinse. repeat.
3. they wanted to charge everyone for it, then get everyone to go along with a waiver and agree not to sue.
4. they cut my internet cable. for no evident reason.
5. their "high speed" isn't really high speed when other people use it.

verizon, conversely:

1. did install dsl at my boyfriend's place last year. it was faster than comcast. by a long shot.
2. after an hour on the phone with various support techs, i got a technician sent back out to install FiOS yesterday, after he tried calling the incorrect number and couldn't reach us (despite the fact that we were very much home).
3. that same tech was dedicated to stick it through and make sure we got exactly what we ordered that day. we decided to call it a night and do other things, but he followed up the next morning.
4. he's returning this afternoon to resolve everything and get us up and running at ridiculous speeds.
5. everyone i spoke to on the phone was polite, patient and wanted to see the problem through to the end as best they could. Amy in Rhode Island was particularly helpful, but everyone i spoke to kicked ass.

while verizon is far from perfect, they've improved radically, and they seem to have figured out that the best way to compete with a company that offers shit product and even worse customer service is by offering exemplary customer service in addition to a competing product.

in other news, we moved into the new apartment. yay us! the reason i mention this in this entry, is because today i figured it would be a good idea to really, seriously change mailing addresses.

1. DMV - philly's dmv website allowed me to renew my driver's license and change my address online, in under ten minutes. beautiful. the only thing i can't do online is get the photo taken. they're mailing me the card to get that done, which means i'll spend minimal time in line.
2. USPS - incredibly easy to change mailing addresses, and they understand that people like me use multiple names for mailings. sweet.
3. my bank - almost instantaneous. the form was easy to find and fill out. i got almost immediate verification that the address is being changed. it'll take one business day to process, then boom.

oh yeah, and my commute? down from thirty minutes to seven. life is sweet.

these are my blog entries. let me show you them.

Wednesday 28 May 2008 at 9:17 pm

i have the greatest boyfriend in the entire world. he doesn't believe me when i tell him this. still, i figure telling everyone else can't hurt.

critical mass

Tuesday 20 May 2008 at 8:57 pm

milestone. landmark. landslide. critical. mass critical. critical mass. temporal perception is skewed. speed up. slow down. cool. pupil dilation delay. trippy. asymptomatic. symptomatic. recurring nightmares? trivial, this is all trivial. the sight. one eye. true sight. see the truth. they'll kill you if they find out.

killyoukillyoukillyou. pretend everything is normal. pretend you can't see it.

suddenly, it becomes quite clear how fairy mythology was really an allegory for mental illnesses, like schizophrenia. i'm done.

I could drink a case of you

Saturday 03 May 2008 at 10:28 pm

We're sitting on top of a campus building roof, looking out over the city. It's cloudy and kind of foggy, so the bright lights reflect off the moisture and give everything a surreal, eerie look. Our legs dangle out over air, but we're securely perched. Still, my feet tingle in anticipation of falling.

"You know what I miss?" I meant the question rhetorically.
"Yes, but go on." God thinks it's cool that he knows everything. It's usually just obnoxious.
"I miss being creative. I don't know if I was particularly good at it, but neglecting it entirely... I feel two dimensional."
"You've always lacked depth. Nothing's really changed. You're just making more money now."
"A lot more."
"And you're going to have time, soon."
"I miss thinking about things. I miss talking about things. I..."
"You miss me?"
"I guess so. I mean, in many respects, you're the wall I bounce my ideas off of."
"That's pretty egotistical, I'll give you that. 'God is my soundboard.'"
"Don't act like you aren't flattered."
"I won't."
"So listen, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."
"Shoot."
"You're God, right,"
"Yes."
"Right, so, you're infallible. You have ultimate, unlimited power -- you can do anything you want, without repercussion. You are accountable to no one."
"You're wondering why I haven't done anything lately."
"Kinda, yeah."
"It's complicated."
"I'm sure."
"I got bored."
"Is this going to turn into a Sims analogy?"
"Maybe."
"Look -- you can do anything. You could come down here and shoot fucking fire out of your eyes. But you don't."
"Nothing is an element contained within anything."
"Please shut up."
"Look, your species is evolving in its understanding of me. I haven't ceased to exist, but your collective need of me is changing. You don't need a personal god anymore, you need a universal energy. I am that. I'm reaching out, creating miracles, communicating in that capacity. I am doing the amazing, the anything you're talking about. Just on a much larger scale. A scale you now have a capacity to appreciate. Your technologies allow you to observe my activities. Yet you want me to remain stagnant, an inappropriate, outdated icon of an ancient past."
"Fuck."
"Just admit you want me to reemerge on earth as Iron Man or something."
"Is it so much to ask? Is it?"

does the environment reflect the elements within it, or vice versa?

Friday 25 April 2008 at 11:29 pm

get ready.

a walk down memory lane is more painful than nostalgic. still, the changes are all positive. why did i abandon you? i never left. you just wouldn't let me in. through a dark parking lot, i can see a garden. pink cherry blossoms sway in the breeze. the gnarled tree trunk twists and bows, providing shade to the stone bench beneath it. a bird sings here, and it's unlike bird song elsewhere. this is melodic, peaceful, even notable for its beauty. this place has been here for years, but i never saw it before. there is an iron fence that wraps around it, preventing anyone from entering.

once derelict buildings are now half-million dollar condos. a building permit for another bank -- just what the world needs. the old dive bar is now a piano bar. it's nothing fancy, but it's a good two or three steps up from what it used to be. everything seems newer, fresher, better and more promising. more hopeful. more likely to succeed. buildings that were decaying two years ago have been renovated. plywood windows replaced with glass. three years, and it's been transformed, but not replaced. the old structures are still there, just renewed.

a double reflection between two angled glass doors show me walking next to a faded, somber figure. she looks similar but entirely different all at once. she smokes, i don't. we're both lost in our thoughts.

the boo

Tuesday 22 April 2008 at 07:00 am

I had a dream last night about booboo (pictured above). Somehow, I knew he was dying, but I also knew it wouldn't be long before I'd see him again. I've joked about having this pact with him, that he "can't die." Rather, he'll be reincarnated into another cat. This is bizarre, I realize, and it's entirely likely the dream was just a part of that.

I got a call early this morning from my mom, saying boo was doing badly and she was taking him in to see the vet.

I also voted.

about.com sucks dink.

Friday 18 April 2008 at 8:01 pm

I hate everything about about.com. Its answers are usually useless. Ctrl+Click on any link and you get redundant pages. Try to use the back button and you wind up in a perpetual forward loop.

There is nothing redeeming about their website.